Newspaper House
by catcatcatcatcat
Summary: Imagine trying to make a waterproof house out of newspaper and masking tape. Imagine Demyx being you're partner. Imagine the concequences. Axel has made it clear that he doesn't need an imagination.


Hello. New fanfic. This is basically a crack fic. But we all know that so yeah. And like I said—this is a _fanfic_ so I don't own Kingdom Hearts. No, no.

This Fanfic is dedicated to my dearly departed friend Hayley who was also my partner for this very project. Miss ya number nine. O.o Newspaper House Day One: Soggy Newspaper 

"Demyx… that _thing _won't even cut soggy newspaper. WHICH WE ARE DROWNING IN NO THANKS TO YOU!" Axel threw a fistful of soggy newspaper at Demyx quite annoyed.

Let's go over what happened in the last week. To make a short story even shorter Xemnas had told them all to make a house out of newspaper and masking tape with a partner. They had one week. And this 'house' had to withstand a bucket of water. If your residence got demolished then you got water dumped on you.

Why? Because Xemnas was bored. And because Xemnas was a fiend. And that's what bored fiends do. They bring pain and annoyance to others.

And Axel had just wanted to get a bucket of water dumped on him. Oh yes.

Xemnas told them that if they didn't then he would put them in the _room_. And no one wanted to go in the _room_.

Partners were as is:

Xaldin - Xigbar 

_Saix – Vexen_

Lexaeus - Luxord Zexion – Roxas 

_Axel – Demyx_

_Marluxia – Larxene_

What Axel found ironic was that Xemnas was nowhere on the list. Lazy bastard. Lazy _sadistic_ bastard.

So this is where we find him knee deep in newsprint. Soggy newsprint. Howling for dear god. "I'm going for a walk Demyx. DO NOT FOLLOW ME." He started for the door.

"Why not?" Demyx stared at Axel with large innocent puppy eyes as he held up a shish kabob stick.

"ARRRGH!" The door slammed.

XxXxX

_Why god? Why am I stuck with the idiot? WHY? WHY ME? WHY? ANSWER ME GOD! _Axel was slamming his head on the nearby wall as he stormed down one of the random dark hallways. Yes Demyx was one of his best friends but some times he could be so damn _annoying_! And stupid as well! And—Well he could go on forever so we'll leave it at that.

Axel passed the first library on the fourth floor and he would've walked straight past it if he hadn't heard voices. He paused beside the doorway, leaning against the wall slightly, listening in on the conversation.

"So let's set some ground rules here as long as we're 'partners' for making this 'house'." Saix looked at Vexen as he flopped onto the nearby couch. "Since you are the 'genius' you'll make the house. And a waterproof house mind you. And Xemnas hears nothing about this because I'm sure you don't want to end up in the _room._"

Vexen rolled his eyes. "Bah. Have you no respect for your elders? AND DON'T TURN UP THE HEAT!" He lunged at Saix who had begun to turn the dial for the heating.

"It's freaking fall old man and this room is 45 degrees _below_ zero. Aren't you freaking cold—Wait… I think there's someone listening in." With one swift motion Saix stuck his head outside.

An empty hallway greeted him.

XxXxX

_Hmm… interesting_. Axel had already dissipated when Saix had been alerted of his presence. He was strolling casually in the castle gardens. (Courtesy of Marluxia) "So he plans on _not_ doing the stupid project and making his partner do all the work… I should do that too!"

Suddenly he pictured Demyx making the house—He could only see a soggy lump of newspaper and a bucket of water over his head.

"Maybe I shouldn't… it'll take a miracle for that to happen…WHY COULDN'T I HAVE SOMEONE SMART AS MY PARTNER? Why not Roxas or Zexion? WHY DO I HAVE THE STUPID IDIOT?" Axel gripped his head in annoyance. "GAH!"

"You do know that when you do that it's _you_ who looks like a stupid idiot? Zexion came into view as he rounded the corner of the nearby shrub.

"Hey Axel!" Axel spun around. He swore he had heard Roxas's voice but he couldn't see Roxas. He looked right, he looked left, he looked front, and he looked back—he even looked down but still no Roxas. "Look up you idiot."

"What do you mean look u-- HOLY SHNIKIES! Did you get a growth spurt or something?" Axel had looked up and he saw Roxas's head popping over the hedge.

"Yes Axel. And he drank a whole lot of milk at that." Zexion shook his head sarcastically.

"But…but why is he so tall?"

"Because he's standing on the house we made out of newspaper. Duh. Where's Demyx?"

" YOU FINISHED ALREADY? He's somewhere on the eighth floor fooling around in soggy newspaper. Why? You want to give him a kiss?" Axel cooed to the shorter member in the organization.

"I could say the same to you and Roxas."

"I'M NOT FREAKING GAY!" Two simultaneous answers were yelled out at Zexion.

XxXxX

"Um… I think Axel's mad at me Xigbar…WHAT DO I DO?" Demyx cried to the gun shooter who was at the door the room.

"Did you go and make him mad in any way Demyx?" When Demyx shrugged his shoulders the older member peered into the room and whistled. "Well I don't blame him. This room looks like the inside of a papier-mâché piggy bank."

What he had said was true. There were sheets of newspaper plastered all over the walls and ceiling and by the looks of it Demyx was wading in it.

"Maybe you should try starting this 'house' while he's gone without getting it wet…"

"Oh…okay…"

Xigbar walked away. "Kids… gotta love em'"

"So… a house… um…" Demyx flicked a sheet of paper off his head. "Oh… I know!"

XxXxX

"Well I guess I should go and check on Demyx before he does something _too_ catastrophic." Axel rolled his eyes and opened his mouth once more but then—

Something exploded from the eighth floor and dust started to pour out from the window. If you listened really closely you could hear Demyx ranting—that is if you could hear past the roar of the chainsaw and the faint buzz of the power drill.

"I guess it's already too late." Roxas shook his head sheepishly. He turned around and to his shock he saw Axel and Zexion calmly drinking coffee… Or was that beer?

"If you think that's catastrophic than you've seen nothing yet."

XxXxX

Axel shook his head as he downed the remnants of the Tim Hortens French Vanilla coffee. Then suddenly he groaned as he realized a sudden fact.

The damage costs of the room…

Well. It couldn't be that bad. Right? I mean this is Demyx that we're talking about—

That's exactly the point.

It's Demyx with a power drill and a chainsaw. Not a good combo. Hey boys and girls! What's Demyx plus a power drill and a chainsaw minus Axel or any supervision equal?

Axel cringed slightly and braced himself, preparing himself for total chaos as he flung the door open. "What the hell did you do this—Holy shit. Holy freaking shit. THE WORLD IS ENDING ISN'T IT? DEAR GOD!"

That day most of the organization swore that Axel had lost his sanity.

Axel had just witnessed a miracle.

For there was Demyx rolling newspaper poles with a shish kabob stick and then taping them. And there was already a frame of a house taped together.

Axel had seen the impossible. Demyx was actually doing something right in his life…

"Yeah?" Demyx looked up with innocent eyes. And Axel would've basked in the moment if Demyx hadn't thrown a stick at Axel.

"…" Axel just walked off with a very vague expression on his face.

XxXxX

I've got to tell you this before I forget: THIS IS A TRUE STORY. Well parts of it. I had to do this project with a friend and some of the things that was put in this fic ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE. So yeah. Review or don't. Your choice in the end. Though you probably know which one I prefer you do… - Shadoom


End file.
